Brilliant Info From the Front Page

"Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies" (jordanwphillips) 03/03/2015 at 12:54 • Filed to: FP Brilliance

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If you drive a truck, you have a two inch dick because they are bad on gas. But if you drive a car that gets the same or worse gas mileage, it's okay to drive that. Also, if you drive like a sane person and follow the law of the land, you are a prude. Also I learned that it is dangerous to drive the speed limit. Well fuck, TIL.

Have an extremely fuel efficient truck with the payload of a child's Radio Flyer.

Textured Soy Protein > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 03/03/2015 at 12:58

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Link?

CB > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 03/03/2015 at 13:00

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You ever wonder if everyone's a moron, and we're all just pretending we're not?

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Textured Soy Protein 03/03/2015 at 13:00

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http://jalopnik.com/its-not-a-myth…

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > CB 03/03/2015 at 13:01

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Well I do live in Florida...

Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again. > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 03/03/2015 at 13:02

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Links?

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again. 03/03/2015 at 13:03

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http://jalopnik.com/its-not-a-myth…

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 03/03/2015 at 13:04

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His username. He can suck them.

nFamousCJ - Keeper of Stringbean, Gengars and a Deezul > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 03/03/2015 at 13:10

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don't forget that 50 year old fiats are better than modern Lamborghinis and you could buy a 20 year old Audi with 200k miles on it for the price of a brand new Focus ST

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 03/03/2015 at 13:11

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Anybody, anybody who defaults to the compensating for something allegation as a first shot about anything is psychologically projecting so hard they could light a transparencies projector onto a drive-in screen.

yamahog > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 03/03/2015 at 13:14

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That myth can go DIAF. Just because I have a lift kit, mud tires, and get shitty gas mileage doesn't mean I don't have a massive dong!

Well, uh, "I" being hypothetical.

blacktruck18 > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 03/03/2015 at 13:14

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Looks at penis.

"Oh well, still scored a hot wife."

Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again. > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 03/03/2015 at 13:15

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Well it may not be true, but it sure seems like it sometimes (also applies to stereotypical lambo owner).

nermal > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 03/03/2015 at 13:20

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I drive both a big-ass crew cab pickup which compensates for a small weiner, as well as a GTI that exhudes confidence in weiner size by being the polar opposite of the truck.

Does this mean that my weiner is merely average when you take both into account?

What if I sell my truck, will my weiner then automatically become spectacular? If I sell the GTI, will my weiner then become inadequate?

This is so confusing. Somebody needs to make a flowchart that explains everything.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > yamahog 03/03/2015 at 13:23

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A hypothetical Yamahog who is a dude, presumably. Mirror Universe Yamahog - now with goatee. And lifted XJ.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > nermal 03/03/2015 at 13:32

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Porn sites will advertise this now. HERE IS ONE EASY STEP TO GET A PORN SIZED DICK : SELL YOUR TRUCK.

nermal > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 03/03/2015 at 13:41

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You must be compensating for something with that phsychological analysis!

misfitmascots > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 03/03/2015 at 13:44

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What if I have a truck and a small car?

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > nermal 03/03/2015 at 13:47

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You must be compensating for something with that spelling error! - though I have absolutely no idea what. Hmm.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > misfitmascots 03/03/2015 at 13:56

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We've determined that it becomes midsize, but it automatically grows once the truck is gone.

misfitmascots > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 03/03/2015 at 13:58

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Aaaah I see now.

lucky's pepper > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 03/03/2015 at 14:37

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Hmmm... what if I own a mid-sized truck that gets really shitty gas mileage? I know I have a small penis, but what image am I projecting?

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > lucky's pepper 03/03/2015 at 14:41

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If it's not a car that gets shitty gas mileage, it's that you have a small dick. Welcome to the club.

lucky's pepper > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 03/03/2015 at 16:10

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That's a relief! I thought the smaller size of my truck might give people an overly optimistic impression of my endowment.

Makoyouidiot > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 03/03/2015 at 23:06

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I have a Fiat 500. Suprisingly, I have a very average penis. According to the fp, it should be roughly two feet long. I want a refund.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Makoyouidiot 03/03/2015 at 23:19

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Your Fiat 500 should of done the trick. Shit my 4Runner is roughly the same exterior dimensions of a modern compact car, and that hasn't extended me any, maybe I should lower it?

Makoyouidiot > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 03/03/2015 at 23:55

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Most definitely.